Stand Your Ground

Sometimes the things that are going to hurt you aren't always obvious. Sometimes the people taking advantage of you aren't always dressed up like villians.

Sometimes the people that are taking advantage of you are simply trying to take care of themselves. They're not thinking of you.

If you lead with your heart, like I do, this is a problem. You sympathize with them. You might want THEM to be happy but you've been down this road and you know that YOU won't be.

The Late Fee
Just the other day I got an invoice from a social media marketing assistant name Claire that had in small print a late fee for $75 A DAY with some arbitrary due date.

To add to the problematic nature of this, emails are contracts in today's law. If I did not catch that I could have been liable for hundreds of dollars in extra fees for a job that cost $350.

At first, I was pissed. Wtf?! What did I do to this person to desearve this dumb ass notification. Who do they think I am?

I took it personal. I lead with my heart.

But then I remembered the THREE QUESTIONS.

Fake News
A few years ago, one of my best "friends" took advantage of me. Launched his own online school WHILE I was launching a class with him. He had no intention of doing the class with me. Just using me to market his new school.

That hurt, bad. This was someone that lived in my home. Ate with my kids. However, I learned one of the most important lessons in my life from it.

I learned to ask THREE QUESTIONS:

Is that STORY true?
Is that STORY 100% true?
What is possible if that STORY is NOT true?
When shit happens to us, we go into STORY mode. We start making up all kinds of reasons, excuses, fake news.... :)

Remember that relationship that was always on and off? Usually we're younger when we get into one of those. Remember when you'd call her? She wouldn't pick up and your mind would go apeshit.

You'd think things like: she's seeing the entire highschool football team... at once!

You know the stories.

What we ALL NEED to know, though, is: Is it fake news or is it real?

Did my friend take advantage of me? Absolutely. 100%.

Was he a lying dirt bag that lived in my house only to use me when the moment was right?

Probably not. It's entirely possible that he was facing pressures in his own life that were bigger than our friendship and he made a choice he thought would help his family.

It's Too Late For The Late Fee
So, if we go back to Claire, was she trying to screw me?

What is possible if that STORY is NOT true?

Most likely she's from a different place or she was new and just really worried about how she was going to get paid. She was just trying to take care of herself.

But here's the rub, though:

Understanding DOES NOT EQUAL Acceptance

That's one of the hardest lessons in life, for me. I want to help people. I want to be there for their journey. I'm a teacher!

However, I have to be there for myself first. Put your oxygen mask on first...

So I stood my ground. I wrote her back that there were no terms agreed to and there would be no late fees paid (we're talking about one day here...)

She stood her ground, there will be late fees on the next project.

I stood my ground and said it's a dealbreaker I won't accept those terms. I wasn't angry. No need. I understood. But I didn't accept it.

So my question for you today is WHO do you have to LET GO of in your life not because they're bad but because you are no longer willing to ACCEPT their terms?

After all you deserve to be happy too, right?

Much Love,


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